A Father's Fear

I am afraid that I have made a great and terrible realization about my daughter - such a turn of fate as is a righteous shock to the genteel sensibilities of my family and the generations that have come before us. Caroline - sweet, dear Caroline - how it pains me to say this:

I think you have the makings a Dook fan.

How do I know? Your recent propensity to flop to the ground and wail at even the slightest physical touch...

Please, please don't continue to do this. Think instead of your father, and your father's father, and his father before him, and return to your legacy that is that fine shade of Carolina Blue. You just need to learn how to suck it up and take a little body contact from your brother and the dog.